How to stop comparing yourself to others? Okay, now I want to talk about the dangers of comparison. A lot of the time I think the trap here is to think that if you don’t compare yourself to others then you’ll just get stuck in a rut and not be able to better yourself. But the problem with that is there’s always going to be somebody that is better than you in some area. Or that you think is better than you in some area. Regardless of what they might feel themselves and not only that’s just an assumption, that’s likely not to be true anyway. It’s irrelevant and it’s very damaging to your self-esteem.
In fact the problem is when you get stuck in comparison with other people you use a lot of the energy that you could use to actually better yourself feeling sorry for yourself , you get depressed about the fact that you’re not up to standard so it’s a losing game and I think you know it’s much better to if you really want to compare yourself, to compare yourself to yourself yesterday and what I mean by that is look at where you were before and look at where you have improved…
Now some people might think: well why should I just look at where I have improved and not look at all the things I am doing wrong? but the reason is whatever you focus your mind on will expand so think about it this way: your mind is sort of like a garden right ? And whatever you plant in this garden will grow so are you gonna plant weeds or are you gonna plant a beautiful apple tree or flowers something that pleases you and makes you happy? That happiness come when you stop comparing yourself to others.
I think it would be much better to do the latter than just plant weeds focusing on your faults and all the things you do wrong! this doesn’t mean that you’re not aware that there are things to work on but self-acceptance is number one prerequisite for getting better and improving your skills at anything so I think if you really need to do something to better yourself then try and be kind, try and be soft, soften up a little bit and just remember that when some criticism happens it is actually an alarm bell…
It is it is a part of you that’s trying to nurture you , is trying to parent you. The way that you’re treating yourself and the way you’re talking to yourself is simply a habit. And it’s conditioned by how you were treated as a as a kid. You tend to talk to yourself in the way that your primary care givers talked to you, so this doesn’t mean can’t be changed.
But you have to be aware of what’s going on and and be willing to change the way you talk to yourself. So that’s my advice: my homework would be to soften up , try encouraging to yourself, stop all comparisons and notice what you’re actually doing right. So you can start doing more of that! Okay that’s all about stop comparing yourself to others, have a wonderful day and do something creative just for yourself you probably feel a lot better!
